Olympus: Ask the Gods!
by ninjagal2000
Summary: This is a challenge from a possible new series: Olympus: Godly Challenges. The title's kind of self-explanatory. Ask the Olympian gods (plus Hades) questions. T so I can answer T-rated questions.
1. Chapter 1

**This is possibly a new interaction series: **_**Olympus: Godly Challenges. **_**Each challenge is a continued thing, and there will be more than one kind of challenge and more than one chapter to each challenge. This challenge is called **_**Olympus: Ask the gods!**_** If people don't have questions, I won't continue this. The next part is where you imagine someone talking in their best talk-show host voice. **

**-THERE'S GONNA BE THE COOLEST PAGE BREAKER EVER HERE!-**

Hello, and welcome to _Olympus: Ask the gods! _The show where you can ask any Olympian god or Hades any question you want! No restrictions, no restraints, except one thing: keep it T-rated, folks! *cue audience laughter.*

Questions may be answered by more than one god! Also, the gods have been given a contract and have read and signed it! They've sworn on the _River Styx_ to abide by it, so there's no backing out! Here's a quick copy of the contract!

I _ Insert name here_ _swear on the River Styx to follow the rules of _Olympus: Godly Challenges _as long as the show continues. I cannot back down from questions, dares, etc. from the _Olympus _staff, and will answer truthfully and to the best of my knowledge.

And there you have it folks, the gods have agreed! We have some sample questions gathered from the editors **(a.k.a. my other PJO fans in my school.)**

Dear Hades,

Why'd you kidnap your wife? Is that really the only way you could get a wife?

-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I AM A GOD! YOU ARE A MORTAL! I AM COMPLETELY CAPABLY OF "PICKING UP GIRLS," AND I HAVE A LIVING CHILD, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED! KIDNAPPING WAS JUST THE MOST IMMEDIATE WAY!

From, Hades

Dear Anonymous,

In other words: yes.

Love, Demeter

**-JUST AS COOL A PAGE BREAK-**

Dear Dionysus,

Why are you so full of hate?

-Anonymous2

Dear Anonymous2,

I am not full of hate. I am simply depressed my stupid dad sent me to work with demi-gods at their stupid camp, and not allowing me to drink to my heart's content to dull the pain.

From, Dionysus

**-ANOTHER AMAZING PAGEBREAK!-**

Dear all Olympian gods plus Hades,

How much do you like Prussia from Hetalia? I love him!

-Anonymous3

Dear Anonymous3,

I don't know what Hetalia is, and I don't particularly care.

From, Zeus

I love Hetalia, but I like America more than Prussia.

From, Poseidon

Is that a TV show or something? In case you haven't noticed, I don't have the best reception in the Underworld.

From, Hades

What is Hetalia?

From, Hera

I've never heard of it. Does it have anything to do with wheat?

Love, Demeter

I don't watch the show, but I understand that countries are depicted as stereotypical people, but Prussia is no longer a country. That makes no sense. And no, Demeter. It has nothing to do with wheat.

From, Athena

Then I don't care much for it.

Love, Demeter

What?

From, Hestia

I love that show so much! I wrote a haiku about it:

Hetalia's cool

Japan's better than Prussia

I love that cool show.

From, Apollo

Too many boys for my taste.

From, Artemis

Not enough killing or blood.

From Ares

OH. MY. GODS. I _love _that show! All the love and confusion! It's amazing! None of the other gods understand (except Apollo)!

Love, Aphrodite

I have no clue what you're talking about.

From, Hephaestus

SEE WHAT I MEAN? MY OWN HUSBAND!

Love, Aphrodite

That show's amazing, and Prussia is by far the best. You have good taste.

From, Hermes

**Sorry about the last one. My friend didn't know which god to ask that, so I just did all of them. Hope you get the gist of the questions. Also, please don't ask all the gods. It's not fun to do, but I'll probably still do it. Oh, and did you read the opening with an announcer voice? Hope so! (P.S. Rayzins, did I get the Hetalia thing right? Sorry if I didn't Hetalia fans!)**

**-Ninja**


	2. Author's note

**It has been brought to my attention (*cough* I won't say the name in case they don't want me but they're incredibly nice *breathe!* *cough*) that Q&A stories aren't allowed... or something... (I read the guidelines! WHATCHA TALKING ABOUT? DON'T ACCUSE ME!) so I will now only accept questions via Private Messaging (PM) So. Yup. THANKS NICE PERSON! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D**


	3. Chapter 2

**Yay! Questions! :D thanks guys! Don't forget the announcer's voice!**

Hello and welcome back to _Olympus: Ask the Gods_. Questions have been submitted, and the gods are just _loving _some of them!(sarcasm) *cue audience laughter* Here are your questions and answers!

**-I JUST REMEMBERED I DIDN'T ACTUALLY ADD A PAGEBREAK!-**

Dear Virgins,

If you had to date one guy on Olympus, who would it be?

From, VidiaPhoenix

Dear VidiaPhoenix,

I wouldn't date anyone. All the boys on Olympus are either stupid or immature or both. AND APHRODITE, STOP WRITING A LETTER. IF IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH POSEIDON AND ME, I WILL KILL YOU!

From, Athena

Party-pooper :(.

Love, Aphrodite

I really don't know which male I'd date. I suppose that since you say "on Olympus" I can't say a demigod… *sigh* oh well. I will say one anyway. I'm sorry Annabeth, but I would date Percy. Only because he is kind and not evil, and he's saved Olympus.

From, Artemis

P.S. no one better tell Annabeth this, or I may "accidentally" send my hunters after you.

I can't think of any guy worth dating. Not all boys are as bad as Artemis makes them out to be, but they're not all good. I suppose I would date Apollo. Not many know this, but he and Poseidon actually _fought _over who would marry me. Of course, Zeus declared I would be a virgin then and there, but it was still sweet.

Love, Hestia

Oh, Artemis, you said _not _to tell Annabeth? Whoops! Anyway, I brought her response.

Lady Artemis,

You'll date WHO? It's my understanding you are a VIRGIN GODDESS, and therefore do not date! Also, most people don't date guys who are ALREADY DATING SOMEONE! I would appreciate it if you were one of those people! STAY AWAY FROM PERCY, HE'S MINE!

Sincerely, Annabeth

My bad, Arty. I thought we were supposed to tell them!

From, Apollo

P.S. Hestia, you'd date me? *smirks cockily*

**-YEAH, I'M JUST GONNA DO THIS ISNTEAD OF PAGEBREAKS. I'M TOO LAZY-**

Dear Athena,

Since ya'll gods exist and science is fabrication and all that, does space still exist? Or is that just the Mist making us mortals think you can go beyond the sky?

-blitzhannan

Dear blitzhannan,

Ya'll? *sigh* What has America come to? This is complex. Space, in a sense, does exist, yet in another sense, it doesn't.

In the sense that it does: There is a never-ending void out there, filled with "stars" and "planets." (I will not explain the quotation marks around stars and planets.) The gods can travel there, and sometimes Hephaestus will go to one of his workshops – I mean, stars – and forge something. In this way, space exists.

However, in the sense it doesn't: the void is just that. A void. Mortals cannot enter it, and the Mist and dreams make them believe they have entered space. Some humans do not believe their dreams or the Mist, and must thus be killed. Sometimes, we need to take entire spaceships out so humans don't think they're on the right track. Don't even get me STARTED on satellites.

Moral of the story: don't try to go past the sky. It really makes Zeus mad.

From, Athena

**-I'M JUST DOING THIS FOR PAGE BREAKS FROM HERE ON OUT-**

Dear Aphrodite,

What do you think about Apollo's haikus? Also, who do you like more: Piper or Drew?

Ares or Hephaestus?

Love, loveissoawesome

Dear loveissoawesome,

Your pen name is perfect and true. And Apollo's haikus are almost always terrible. And, I can't choose which child I like better! I mean, they're both charmspeakers! Sure, Piper's may be stronger. And sure, Piper has been on a quest. Sure, Piper may have fallen in love with a son of Zeus. Sure, Piper's one of the seven in the new great prophecy. Sure… Ugh! I like Piper more! There! I said it! Don't tell Drew, or you will have a terrible love life forever!

And that next question is a hard one. Ares is _amazing! _(if you know what I mean ;) ) and Hephaestus… well, he makes me nice things! So I'd have to say it's a tie.

Love, Aphrodite

**Okay! Hope you guys like it! Also, MAJOR THANKS to RubyArtist334 – you are the first and so far ONLY person to favorite me at all, so THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT! I have some bad news, too. Since there haven't been any questions other than the ones I just replied to, I think that Olympus: Godly Challenges is on hold till more questions come. TELL YOUR FRIENDS! THIS STORY IS FUN TO WRITE! I DON'T WANT TO STOP! *cries like a little three-year-old who won't be given their favorite toy.***

**-Ninja**


	4. Chapter 3

**Whoops! I lied! People asked questions, so answers they shall get! Tell your friends! :D**

Dear Athena,

What's gonna be on my next math test? JK! Real question: why don't you approve

of Percabeth?

Sincerely,

RubyArtist334

Dear RubyArtist334,

I don't see the future. Ask the fates, assuming they'll answer.

I don't approve of Percabeth because that is my daughter with the _sea spawn! _I want my daughter to be happy, yes, but not with Percy! AND APHRODITE, STOP WRITING THIS INSTANT! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY, AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE I LIKE POSIEDON, BECAUSE I DON'T!

From, Athena

Sure. Of course you don't Athena.

Love, Aphrodite

Let's face it – I'm irresistible!

From, Poseidon

**-YEP. FAIL PAGEBREAK. I'M LAZY!-**

Dear Artemis, Out of all the gods and goddesses, whose daughters make the best hunters?

-CourtingTheMoon

Dear CourtingTheMoon,

First of all, you can't court the moon. I am the moon goddess, so I'd know. I'm a maiden, remember?

Thalia is my lieutenant, and she's good. So, I have to say Zeus, but only because his child is good, not him.

From, Artemis

**-AGAIN, AMAZINGINGLY LAZY PAGEBREAK-**

Dear Artemis and Hestia, Have either you ever felt a desire for a child? Adopted of course, no one would ever ask you to break your oaths. And if either of you did, would you have a father figure? Who?

-CourtingTheMoon

Dear CourtingTheMoon (again),

The hunters are like my children, so no. I would NEVER have a father figure. Ever. EVER.

From, Artemis

Dear CourtingTheMoon,

I love kids! Sometimes, I wish I had my own. Like, my very own, not just adopted. If I had one, I would choose a father figure. It would have to be Apollo. Oh, don't give me that look, Zeus! Thank-you, for asking that question that I HAD to answer. Stupid contract.

With a little less love, Hestia (P.S. I still love you, of course.)

YOU'RE A MAIDEN! YOU MAY NOT DATE THAT STUPID APOLLO WITH HIS STUPID RHYMES! APOLLO! STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER!

From, Zeus

Crap!

Hestia is hot

And I would go out with her

She's cooler than Zeus

Gotta go!

From, Apollo

Oh, how romantic!

Love, Aphrodite

KILL HIM, BROTHER! SHE WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH ME, SO SHE WON'T GO OUT WITH HIM! KILL HIM!

From, Poseidon

**-WE MEET AGAIN, AMAZING PAGE BREAK-**

Dear Aphrodite, Since you can sense love, who are all the females that have felt attraction to Perseus Jackson?

-CourtingTheMoon

Dear CourtingTheMoon,

Oh, to name them, there aren't enough hours in the day. Let's start with every Olympian goddess except Athena, Rachel the Oracle, a couple hunters, just about every girl mortal who's read the books, and Annabeth.

Hm. That was easier than I thought.

Love, Aphrodite

Oh, yeah! My son's a player!

From, Poseidon

**-I'M GOING TO HAVE RANDOM MOVIE QUOTES FROM HERE. TELL ME WHAT MOVIE THEY'RE FROM, AND… I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING VIA THIS COMPUTER. YEAH.-**

Dear Goddesses, What would be your perfect date? All of you must answer. (Gods take notes)

-CourtingTheMoon

Dear CourtingTheMoon,

For starters, I hate you. With a passion. I now understand how Hades feels, and I am sorry, brother. Second, it'd probably be… striking down mortal airplanes with my lightning bolt, then showing my date how to do it. Oh, and my date actually WANTING to. That'd be a perk.

From, Zeus

Really, I'd just want to go on a date that I don't have to kill you mortals. Or one where my husband doesn't look at other women.

From, Hera

A long walk on the beach, then a ride with the dolphins. Or a sea monster. That'd be fun.

From, Poseidon

Any date that involves me and Orion. That'd be the perfect date.

From, Artemis

I'd be happy if it were me and Hestia, as long as she was happy and no gods or goddesses were trying to kill us.

Love, Apollo

OH MY GODS! THAT'S SO SWEET YOU TWO! The perfect date would have to be, first, your date picking you up at your house by a carriage ride. He'd have to give you a corsage. After a stroll through the park in the carriage, he'd take you to a formal dinner. He'd get you the lobster, and order champagne. He'd make you laugh, and you'd fall madly in love with him, and he with you. He'd take you home on the carriage, and kisses your lips before he walks away. You would, however, have to invite him inside. He'd take the bait, you two would drink wine, and then you should know what happens next. ;)

Love, Aphrodite

I don't know. A trip to a famous library.

From, Athena

A date I was allowed to drink at. With a girl who could hold her liquor.

From, Dionysus

I'd love a date where I could take her to one of my forges, and we'd make something together. It wouldn't be anything special, and we wouldn't talk, but we'd both have a nice time. I wish my wife actually liked what I did.

From, Hephaestus

It really depends on the girl! I'd love to go to an amusement park.

From, Hermes

A walk in a garden, with blooming flowers and ripe fruits and vegetables.

Love, Demeter

A paint-ball war. THAT would be a date. And if my date won, I'd marry her. No questions asked.

From, Ares

Oh, I don't know. I'd love to just sit by a warm fire, roasting marshmallows, drinking some wine and maybe listen to a little sweet music. My date and I would joke, and we'd just have a good time, not worrying about the world around us. It'd be nice, for once. Oh, and it'd have to be with Apollo.

Love, Hestia

Could you repeat that, only a bit slower, please?

Love, Apollo

STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER, APOLLO!

Zeus

DITTO!

Pissed, Poseidon

I don't care, Apollo. Date her. It'd be fun to watch you guys fight over a girl other than my wife. SHUT UP, DEMETER! Anyway, the perfect date, or day at all really, would be one that DEMETER WOULD LEAVE MY WIFE AND I ALONE LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE A CONVERSATION HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH WHEAT OR CEREAL!

From, Hades

_**-YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO DIE-**_** -AND I KNOW IT SAID GODDESSES, BUT THE GODS WANTED TO ANSWER BECAUSE THEY CAN'T READ. P.S. THIS SECOND PART ISN'T A MOVIE QUOTE-**

Dear Aphrodite, Did you know that Ares' idea of cleanliness is so low that if you actually ever went over to his place that you would dump him in less than a second? Haven't you ever wondered why he never took you to his pig sty of a palace?

-CourtingTheMoon

Dear CourtingTheMoon,

EXCUSE ME, PUNK? DO YOU WANT TO LIVE TO ASK ANOTHER QUESTION?

Watch your back, Ares

I've never seen his palace. Is it really a pigsty?

Love, Aphrodite

_**-NO, LUKE. I AM YOUR FATHER-**_

Dear Hades,

I remember reading in a mythology book that you were born with "the light of darkness about you."

Now it might just be my ignorant mortal brain being unable to understand the immortal planes but doesn't that seem a little paradoxical?

Could you possibly explain it to me?

Thanks!

-Blitzhannan

Dear Blitzhannan,

I would disregard your question entirely, but you asked me a question directly so I'll answer.

You see, I am a child of Kronos. I wasn't born from the light of darkness. Sorry.

And that would be your ignorant mortal brain being unable to understand the immortal planes, even if it is paradoxical. Everything has some form of light, even darkness. If you ask me how, I will send you to the fields of punishment. Early.

From, Hades

Dear Blitzhannan,

Don't listen to Hades! He was my child, yes, but he was born from the light of darkness! Not all darkness has light – it was rare, and thus a child came from it! Work for me – collect my remains scattered across the globe. Bring them to the edge of Tartarus, and dump them into the pit. You shall be rewarded when I overthrow the gods! Also, I'll need you to kill Perseus Jackson. Eternal rewards shall be yours, Blitzhannan, if you join me.

From, Kronos, the TRUE ruler of the universe

Father? What are you doing? You're not a god! Also, Hades have to be telling the truth. He signed a form, and you'll probably kill Blitz (can I call you Blitz?) as soon as they had helped you. Also, good luck getting anyone near enough to Percy to kill him. Besides, I'll kill them myself before I let anyone hurt my son. Also, you've stooped pretty low if you're asking a mortal for help.

From, Poseidon

P.S. Blitz, work for me, and I'll bless you with the ability to breathe underwater.

**Okay! I know your prize for guessing what movies those lines are from is a virtual pi! :D Answer like this 1) {which was You killed my father. Prepare to die. [don't put this part]} *movie* **_**THEN **_**2) {which was No, Luke, I am your father.} *movie.* THANKS! KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING PEOPLE! And CourtingTheMoon, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D *a thousand more smiles* THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE QUESTIONS,TOO THEY JUST ASKED A TON! **

**-Ninja**


	5. Author's note again

**Okay, peoples! I'm coming with a new one soon, but seriously: PM me messages! I will only accept PMed questions, and ones that aren't PMed will be deleted from comments starting now. I really don't want to seem like a (I'm not sure the word I want to use counts as a T-rated word... I'm paranoid), but PLEASE PEOPLES!**

**Thanks and sorry if I sounded like a... person... who I despise...**

**-Ninja**


	6. Chapter 4 (finally)

**Keep those questions coming, peoples! :) Congratulations, guest! You are CORRECT! The first one is indeed The Princess Bride and the second one is indeed from Star Wars. (Most people only knew the second one. :( ) YAY FOR YOU! I actually am typing the first ten digits of pi… not giving you virtual food. Sorry. Here's the pi: 3.141592654 enjoy! The next award is the first ten digits of the square root of pi! **

Dear Olympians and Hades,

What is your favorite type of dog and why? (The why is optional but I would love it if you said why.)

-Anonymous (a.k.a. one of the PJO nerds from my school)

Dear Anonymous,

All the gods have pretty much agreed: they don't really care for dogs. However, two gods and a goddess would like to put their opinion.

OH MY GOSH A CHIHUAHUA! OR A POODLE! I LOVE THOSE LITTLE CUTIES! THEY'RE SO FREAKING CUTE! Can we get one, Hephy?

Love, Aphrodite

P.S. No. –"Hephy" (Hephaestus)

Rottweiler. DUH!

From, Ares

Cerberus. Three-headed hellhounds (Yes Perseus, he is a hellhound) are the best.

From, Hades

From, the Olympians

_**-I'D LIKE TO MAKE SOME SWEET MUSIC WITH HIM! **_**(if you know this I'll be seriously impressed.)**_**-**_

Dear Hades,

What would life be like if KRONOS was YOUR son?

Sincerely, RubyArtist334

Dear RubyArtist334,

WHAT? Well, if Kronos was my son I wouldn't swallow him. I'd be a GOOD parent!

From, Hades

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PUNY MORTAL? BLITZHANNAN, KILL HER! NOW!

Hatefully, Kronos

RubyArtisty334,

YOU ARE HILARIOUS! Okay, join me, and I will give you the power to make an EARTHQUAKE! Who needs breathing underwater?

You rock, Poseidon

**-WHY SO SERIOUS?-**

Dear Poseidon,

Why do jellyfish sting? And why don't they come in different colors?

-Anonymous's aunt (it really is)

Dear… Anonymous's aunt… (?)

Jellyfish sting because they are evil. Really, I mean it. I dated one once, and she was a complete b- girl dog… they're abusive. Really truly. Avoid them whenever possible.

Why don't jellyfish come in different colors… uh… they do. There are all colors of jellyfish… I think you may be thinking of jelly_beans, _but even those come in different colors so… I don't know what's wrong with you. Anonymous, you may want to send your aunt to a physic ward. Or Dionysus.

From, Poseidon

DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS!

Dionysus

**-I'VE GOT A FEELING WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE…-**

Dear Apollo,

Given the fact that one of your domains is music I'd like to ask you for your opinion on something…

What produces a better sound, Contrabass or an Electric Bass?

Thanks!

-Blitzhannan

P.S. I too know the enjoyment** (what enjoyment?)** and pain of having younger siblings that get too serious

Dear Blitzhannan,

I really see why Poseidon likes you! Oh, but if you join the sea scum that's trying to steal my goddess, I will curse you forever.

As to your question, it really depends on where the music is being played. Sometimes the lowness of the contrabass is quite effective for the mood, but the electric bass can be better depending on the effect you want.

No problem.

From, Apollo

P.S. FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS!

Don't threaten her! Besides, I'll just remove the curse, 'cause I am just that awesome! AND she'll still breathe underwater. Oh, and Blitzhannan, join him and I will drown you in your sleep.

Love, Poseidon (that's right. You've been upgraded to the "Love" sign-off)

EXCUSE ME, APOLLO?

From, Artemis

**-I'M GOING TO MAKE HIM AN OFFER HE CAN'T REFUSE-**

Dear Artemis,

I am sorry if you are offended by my pen name. But I am sure you are aware that there are more than one moon goddesses, Hecate and Selene for example along with another that is currently escaping me. But I do currently have strong feelings for Hecate, can you please not tell her though, I am not ready to tell her yet and I need to be better for her.

Sincerely, CourtingTheMoon

Dear CourtingTheMoon,

I – you – how dare you – UGH! I'M THE MAIN GODDESS OF THE MOON! DO YOU SEE _THEM _PULL THE MOON ACROSS THE SKY EVERY NIGHT? I DIDN'T THINK SO! AND, _SELENE HAS FADED! _At least, she's stopped all communications with us… I DO NOT APPROVE OF RELATIONSHIPS, SO YOU AREN'T FORGIVEN!

GOOD-BYE, Artemis

AWWWWWWWW! HOW ROMANTIC! None of the guys _I _date try to be better for me before they date me! You are so sweet! Why can't my husband be so sweet?

Love, Aphrodite

You really had to do that, didn't you? Thank-you, CourtingTheMoon, for making my wife jealous of Hecate even though she has a relationship with two gods already. Just thanks.

From, Hephaestus

**-FRANKLY, MY DEAR, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN-**

Dear Zeus,

What do you have against Percy? He got your bolt back, brought back your daughter, protected her, is part of bot Great Prophecies, and has saved you… well… asses multiple times. **(Do you have a death wish?) **Do you take offense to the fact that you are tied for my least favorite god/goddess? (The other is Ares.) Good, I am glad you take offense. **(I'll take that as a yes…)**

-Avid Reader0907

Dear Avid Reader0907,

Since you find it necessary to insult the king of the gods, I'll give you respect. **(You. Broke. Zeus.) **I am only angry at Percy because he seems more successful than my other children (though tied with Jason) **(I didn't even know you could break a god, but you broke him like a toy!) **I know he got my most important weapon back, I know he brought my daughter back alive, I know he's part of both of the Great Prophecies, but he has never once saved any of my animals (I have no relations to an ass…) **(How did you do that?) **I'm actually not offended, but sad that you think so little of me. And I don't take offense, so you can't be glad. **(It's official. He's broken. It's the stress-it got to him. SOMEONE CALL DIONYSUS! WE NEED HELP **_**ASAP!)**_

Also, DAMN YOU FOR MAKING THAT CONTRACT, NINJAGAL2000! I WILL SEND YOU TO TARTARUS MYSELF! I WILL DESTROY THAT CONTRACT, CUTTING INTO MORE PIECES THAN KRONOS! **(That explains it…)**

**Okay! Keep the questions coming! Thanks linny3111 for being the second to favorite me! :D ask me a question, and I'll answer it (one reason is because I do that for every question I get, but that doesn't change the fact I appreciate it! 3)**

**-Ninja**


	7. Chapter 5 (yes, it's actually a chapter)

**I've been a little unclear as to what time this takes place. It's almost like an in between state of Mark of Athena and Son of Neptune. Percy's come back and everyone's been re-united, but the end of Mark of Athena hasn't happened yet. I hope you guys know what I mean. And in case you haven't noticed, if there are parenthesis in bold then that's my pretty little comments interrupting a letter.** **ANNOUNCER VOICE! **

Hello, and welcome back to _Ask the Gods! _Before we begin, we have a message from our sponsors! **(a.k.a. a ton of joking crap that thanks people for questions, etc.)**

_Are you tired of worrying about possible war? Is that pesky gunfire keeping you up at night?_

_Well don't worry about that anymore, with the new atomic bomb! _*cue happy morning music*

_Thanks to the atomic bomb, not only will you have to worry about a possible war, but you'll __start __one! Now, all that pesky gunfire will be at another country!_

_So what are you waiting for? Get the atomic bomb today!_

_Ares approved!_ _From Hannan and Associates_

**Thank you Blitzhannan for your questions!**

_Try the new Phoenix toaster, from Phoenix and Friends! This toaster heats up within seconds! Cook your toast in moments!_

_Thanks to a special agreement between Phoenix and Friends and Hestia, this toaster is hotter than the hearth itself! _

**Thank you VidiaPhoenix for **_**your **_**questions!**

_There's a new printing company in town. Avid Readers of America (ARA) is now printing any and all your book needs! Stop on by in New York and get a free copy of a book that doesn't exist! _

_The ARA has been printing non-existent books for a whole three minutes, and is now accepting orders! If you are interested in a book that doesn't exist, call this number!_

_232-9898 now!_

**Thank you, Avid Reader0907, for the questions! :D**

_New gem from Ruby Incorporated! This new gem is incredibly rare, as it is found in the pits of Tartarus! Thanks to Hades, this gem is now available to the public, and any buyers of Ruby Inc. will receive a special discount!_

_So what are you waiting for? Order now!_

**THANK YOU RUBYARTIST334 FOR YOUR QUESTIONS AND SUPPORT! 3 P.S. good to know you laugh at the fact Kronos wants you dead! :D **

**I'd like to point out these objects are not for sale and there is no such thing as the companies listed. Just thought I'd clarify that.**

Dear Ares,

I understand you like bloody wars, but as the God of War do you only find enjoyment in bloodshed between two opponents who have openly declared hostilities? Or are surprise attacks, massacres and genocides also enjoyable for you?

Thanks!

-Blitzhannnan

Dear Blitzhannan,

You're the punk that doesn't understand the immortal planes. ME NEITHER! It makes no sense. **(Quit breaking gods, people!) **Any guy who doesn't get this stupid immortal planes crap is a friend of mine. **(I think you put him in a worse condition that Zeus… a**_** friend**_**?) **Anyway, I like bloodshed. It doesn't matter where, or whether the bloodsheders and the bloodshedees are declared enemies or not. I prefer massacres over the other options, then surprise attacks, then genocides. I'm not a fan of genocides unless both sides put up a fight. If they die, they die with honor, and I try to put a good word for them in with the council that decides their fate, if they choose to risk it and try to go for Elysium. **(Ares… does… he does… **_**nice things for people? **_**OH. MY. GODS. I don't think we were supposed to know that.)**

ZEUS I WILL AID YOU IN YOUR ATTEMPT TO DESTROY THAT DAMNED CONTRACT!

From, Ares

P.S. Word of the wise **(Yeah, right.) **stay out of Apollo and Poseidon's girl troubles.

_**-IF YOU BUILD IT, HE WILL COME-**_

Dear Gods and Goddesses,

Who is your favorite hero and why? What about the greatest?

-Avid Reader0907

We've all come to an agreement (except Hades. His opinion will come after ours.) We all agree that our favorite hero is Perseus Jackson. Here are our reasons:

Zeus: He got my bolt back. (Oh, and I still hate you for making me admit I like the kid.)

Hera: He saved Olympus, then declined an offer to become a god because he was loyal to his family and friends.

Poseidon: HE'S MY SON WHO SAVED OLYMPUS! WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

Athena: He's making my daughter happy. He didn't become a god so he could stay with her, so… I suppose he isn't that bad. I have a respect for him because of that.

Apollo: I don't know, I just love that kid!

Hermes: Same here!

Hestia: He's respectful. And, Apollo likes him… so I guess I must as well.

Zeus: YOU'RE A VIRGIN STAY AWAY FROM HIM!

Hestia: MAKE ME!

Ares: _Fight, fight, fight, fight! _Oh, and the punk picked up my mess. DAMNIT I HATE THIS CONTRACT! _FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIG HTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT! _

Aphrodite: Oh, war over love! How romantic! Anyway, to your question: Percy's a sweetheart! I love him! Saving Olympus is just a bonus.

Artemis: He's the only hero I find it difficult to hate, so I guess that makes him my favorite.

Hephaestus: I don't know. The kid just deserves that respect.

Dionysus: Mr. Johnson is a good kid. I guess I don't hate him as much as I do the other heroes, and he protected my son. DAMNIT CONTRACT THAT WAS A SECRET!

Every god replying except Aphrodite: HE PROTECTED YOU SON?

Aphrodite: YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR SON? What a pleasant surprise!

Demeter: He has a good personality (Percy.) He must've spent a good few years pushing a plow. And eat wheat. Lots of wheat.

Okay, here's Hades opinion on this whole matter:

MY SON IS BETTER THAN PERSEUS **(sorry, Percy but I agree. Just saying. You're good and all, but I like Nico better.) **WILL EVER BE! **(okay, the 'will ever be' is stretching it…)** HE CONVINCED ME TO FIGHT FOR YOU PEOPLE, AND WITHOUT HIM PERSEUS WOULD HAVE _LOST! _You hear that, Poseidon? PERCY NEEDED MY SON'S HELP!

From, Hades

Whoa, dad, chill. It's okay.

From, Nico

Wait, how did you answer this? This is a _godly challenge _people! _Godly! _

From, Zeus

That would've been me. Just thought I should point out to Hades his own son thinks my son is better than him.

From, Poseidon

P.S. You hear that, Hades? Your own son admits it!

We all agree on Perseus again for your other question. (Even Hades.) **(REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT BREAKING GODS?)**

From, all the gods and goddesses

**-**_**I'LL BE BACK-**_

Dear Aphrodite,

What are your plans for Percabeth?

-Avid Reader0907

Dear Avid Reader0907,

NO! NONONONONONONO! Don't make me say it! Ugh, stupid contract. Oh well, onto the question.

Well, I _definitely _don't have anything interesting planned for them. I _know _Annabeth won't begin to develop a crush on Leo, the odd man out. I'm _positive _she won't leave Percy for Leo. And I assure you,I have most definitely have _not _found a way to get Calypso off her island to comfort Percy in his loss.

That will _not _happen. ;)

Love, Aphrodite

**-MY PRECIOUS-**

Dear Rhea,

Poseidon and Zeus are always arguing about who you loved best. Out of those two, who do you like more?

From, VidiaPhoenix

Dear VidiaPhoenix,

I am technically not obliged to answer this truthfully – heck, I don't even have to answer it. However, I suppose I will be kind and do so.

Hm… my favorite of the two. I don't know, truthfully. I suppose it's really tied. It's hard for me to choose favorites.

Oh, and Zeus, son? Hestia and Apollo told me about how you won't let them date? I thought I raised you better than that! I know that she is supposed to be a virgin goddess, but please. Let the girl live a little. I hereby overrule her maidenhood. Sorry, son.

Love, Rhea

OH YEAH!

Hestia date me

Because I think you're awesome

In your FACE Zeus-y!

From, Apollo

I think that's your best haiku ever, Apollo ;)

Love, Hestia **(Oh gods… the love sign-off. If you are anywhere near a hearth, run. You may be in danger of an emotional outbreak from Hestia. A.k.a. a fire. A **_**big **_**fire.)**

OH. MY. GODS. THIS IS SO CUTE! I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE!

Love, Aphrodite

DAD YOU'RE DATING A VIRGIN?

From, Will Solace

Son, how did you answer this?

From, Apollo

Lord Zeus told me. HOW CAN YOU DATE A VIRGIN?

From, Will

A virgin? You're kidding!

From, Percy

WHAT? _GODLY _CHALLENGES! NOT FOR MORTALS!

From, Zeus

Well, I am a demi_god._

From, Percy

Son, how did you know that this was here?

From, Poseidon

You guys haven't heard? Leo set up a website-type-thing and a link to all your letters popped up, and we've been reading them ever since.

From, Percy

WHAT?!

-Zeus

You know… I think I'm just going to stop looking at this website.

From, Percy

ONLY IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!

-Zeus

Lord Zeus, Percy, sorry to interrupt but I have a quick little question for Aphrodite.

From, Annabeth

Crap!

Love, Aphrodite

Why, exactly, are you causing disruption between my boyfriend and me?

From, Annabeth

Uh… well, you see **(this'll be good.) **Oh, umm… **(I **_**should **_**help her, shouldn't I?) **The thing is… -

Love, Aphrodite

Sorry to interrupt, Aphrodite, but I need to tell the demigods that if they intend on commenting or otherwise participating in _Olympus: Godly Challenges _they have to sign the contract! I'll mail it to you!

From, ninjagal2000

What contract? Oh, that one. Let's see here… yada yada yada… best of my abilities… blah blah blah… sounds good! I'll sign it and get everyone else at camp to!

From, Annabeth

**Okay! You can now ask demigods questions! PM questions to me! So far only one person knows where one of the quotes (from the last chapter) are from, and they are correct! Don't stop guessing, people! Don't you care what the square root of pi is? **

**-Ninja**


	8. Chapter 6

**Okay so… questions! Yeah… LOVE PITCH PERFECT! (That was random.)**

Dear Aphrodite,

Love is arguably the greatest factor of motivation/manipulation in human history (well I suppose my understanding of human history). So I was wondering what you thought of those times when a person would use the love another had for them for personal gain? Do you find it disappointing? Amusing? Or possibly romantic in some round-a-bout way?

Thanks!

-Blitzhannan

Dear Blitzhannan,

LOVE IS NOT TO BE MANIPULATED FOR PERSONAL GAIN! Unless it's… you know… _personal _gain. (An affair…) Sometimes, it is romantic. Like when the two end up falling in love! OHH! Like that one time-

Love, Aphrodite

I said not to talk about it!

Betrayed, Ares

**-THIS GINGER NEEDS HER JIGGLE JUICE-**

Dear Apollo,

Are any country singers your children?

-McCountryGirl

Dear McCountryGirl,

Yes. And it's _supposed _to be a secret, but this contract means I need to tell you. Taylor Swift is my daughter, but that whole thing was an accident. It was a party, and her mom was there, and there was alcohol, and it really was an accident!

I hate this contract, Apollo

**-THE PARTY LASTED A WEEK, AND HONESTLY, I DON'T REMEMBER MOST OF IT-**

Dear Demeter,

If you had to choose between Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Fruit Loops or Nesquick cereal, which would you pick!

-McCountryGirl

Dear McCountryGirl,

I actually like Cinnamon Toast Crunch the best. I mean, it's cinnamon! What's not to love?

From, Demeter

**-DO YOU WISH ME A GOOD MORNING, OR MEAN THAT IT IS A GOOD MORNING WHETHER I WANT IT OR NOT; OR THAT YOU FEEL GOOD THIS MORNING; OR THAT IT IS A MORNING TO BE GOOD ON?-**

Dear Athena,

Who is your favorite child? (I realize it is wrong of me to ask my mother this, but it needed to be asked.)

-McCountryGirl

Dear McCountryGirl,

I'm sorry if this disappoints you, but Annabeth is my favorite child. I don't have anything against you or any of my other children, of course, but I love Annabeth in every way except her choice of men. *cough* _sea scum _*cough*

From, Athena

Uh, mom, you know we can still read these, right?

Love, Annabeth

Man, Lady Athena, you really hate me!

From, Percy

No. Just the fact that you're dating my daughter.

From, Athena

I feel so left out! No one says anything I can even reply to, and no one's asking me questions! Connor and I have the best pranks lined up if anyone cared to ask, but NO! Do we mean anything to you people?

Desolate, Travis

How is that related _at all _to what we were talking about? Don't encourage people to ask us personal questions, and don't encourage them to make terrible choices! Also, I didn't know your vocabulary included "desolate."

From, Annabeth

**-YOU DON'T MEET A GILR LIKE THAT EVERY DYNATSY-**

Dear Hades,

Do you feel under appreciated by your brothers? They did, after all, trick you into being the God of the dead and all.

-McCountryGirl

Dear McCountryGirl,

Yes, actually. I do! And I'm happy _someone _is even asking about that, even if it is only a mortal/demigod! I work hard every day to keep the dead in check and what to my brothers say as thanks? Kick me off Olympus, that's what! And they DID trick me into being trapped in the underworld! **(You set him off on a rant. Thanks.) **And I am _tired-_

Ranty, Hades

Brother, shut up. We drew lots, and Poseidon and I were simply luckier than you. Get over it – it's been _thousands _of years!

From, Zeus

It's not like you don't have anyone Hades – you KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER! Remember? The _only _way you could get a wife? **(That's a reference to the very first question of chapter 1.) **

Never going to forgive you, Demeter

She has a point there, Dad.

From, Nico

Stay out of this son! And if you do join, join my side! Not – not – not _hers!_

From, Hades

Will someone just cut off the rest of this conversation and skip to the next question?

Love, Aphrodite

I deserve my say-

From, Hades

**Yeah, well, you aren't getting it Hades. Okay peoples, don't stop the questions! Congrats, Blitzhannan, for getting the right movies! I said I'd do ten digits of pi's square root, but no one's guessed them all, so I'll just do it for this one: 1.772453851! Also, major thanks to McCountryGirl to all the questions! P.S. RubyArtist, pi is a number in math that's irrational (never ends.)**

**Keep the questions coming peoples! :D**

**-Ninja**


	9. Chapter 7

**Okay. So… announcer voice!**

Hello! Welcome back to _Olympus: Ask the Gods! _Questions have been submitted, and yes, Travis and Connor, people have asked the demigods questions. The editor would like to thank you for your support! To the questions!

**-I'm not sure if I'm going to do movie quotes anymore… I'm running out of movies I can think of-**

Dear Hephaestus,

There have been a lot of new discoveries of technology in the ancient world that have been rewriting what most of us mortals considered our predecessors capable of. One of the events that caused mortals to lose much of our ancestors' knowledge was the burning of the Library in Alexandria. So I was wondering where you think our mortal technology would be if such a large wealth of knowledge and design had not been lost.

Thanks!

-Blitzhannan

Dear Blitzhannan,

It's hard to tell where your world would be if all things that had been lost hadn't been. You would be much more advanced, I promise you that. Then again, you may have destroyed your world about a century earlier than when you will if you continue your current course. So, I'd hate to sound like some tree-hugging hippie, but you really need to take better care of your planet.

From, Hephaestus

**-Random page breaks coming back!-**

Dear Leo,

1. What is it like working with "divine" raw materials like Celestial Bronze? Does it react differently in fabrication or assembly than other more common metals?

2. I was wondering if you'd mind sharing how exactly the Argo II creates lift or is propelled. Are they reasons a regular mortal could understand? Or are they those immortal-plane/magic things?

Lastly, you're awesome!

Thanks!

-Blitzhannan

Dear Blitzhannan,

You ask a lot of questions. For starters, yeah, it is a bit more delicate and harder to handle. Sometimes the Mist tries to screw with your vision so you can't tell exactly what you're doing, which sucks. Other than that, it's not so much different.

Dude! I can't just go around giving up my secrets! You sound like you understand this too much to be a regular mortal. Maybe one of your parents isn't a god, but how about your grandparent?

Lastly, thanks! Right back at you!

From, Leo

I thought the announcer said people asked us questions!

Impatiently, Stolls

Wait your freaking turn, I'm getting there!

From, ninjagal2000

**-R-**

Dear Apollo,

What do you think about the fanfictions where Artemis has a kid? What about gets a boyfriend and breaks her vow? What about the ones when you are paired with a guy? (Just saying, you are my favorite god. Probably the best looking too. Hermes, you are my second favorite.) Did you know Thalia thought and said you were hot when you first met?

-Avid Reader0907

Dear Avid Reader0907,

WHAT IDIOT THINKS I'D LET MY SISTER BREAK HER OATH? SHE ISN'T GOING OUT WITH ANYONE, LET ALONE HAVING A _CHILD! _

WHO THE HADES PAIRS ME WITH A GUY? (Thanks, man. You don't sound half-bad yourself. And thanks, even though I already knew I was the best-looking.)

She did? Nice.

From, Apollo

WHAT?

Pissed, Artemis and Hestia

Artemis, it was a stray thought – well, sentence! I don't even like him or his stupid haikus! Please don't be mad!

Love, your coolest hunter ever, Thalia!

What do you mean "nice"? You want to date a girl sworn away from all males?

From, Hestia

Well, I would love to go out with you.

Love, Apollo

GODS DAMNIT SHE'S A VIRGIN STOP HITTING ON HER!

MORE PISSED THAN WORDS CAN TELL, Zeus

WHEN ARE PEOPLE GOING TO ASK US QUESTIONS?

Stolls

JUST FREAKING WAIT, GODS!

-ninja

**-A-**

Dear Big Three,

I think Hestia has the most power. (She is my favorite goddess, Artemis is second.) Without her, Olympus would kill each other. She keeps peace. She is also the eldest child of Rhea and Kronos. The hearth is very important because hope resides there and without hope you don't have anything. Since you were born with your looks already and they represent your domain, how could you guys change your domain? Oh and:

Sea disasters are better than air

The only reason Zeus was saved by the rock is because he looks like one.

Zeus- You need to allow Hades back because he is the oldest son and never did anything wrong.

Poseidon- You did it with Gaia to get the giant in the Labyrinth? You and Demeter had a horse for a kid? You have issues when it comes to who you go to bed with.

Hades- Be nicer to Nico. He has been an amazing person through all he has been through! **(Yes. Yes he has.)**

It is sad when your kids, (Thalia, Nico, and Percy,) behave better than you.

-Avid Reader0907

Dear Avid Reader0907

THANK YOU!

Love, Hestia

Shut up.

The god who can kill you without blinking, Zeus

Zeus, all of us can do that. And the kid's got a point. Oh, and kid? We can change our appearance. It's one of the many plusses to being a god.

From, Poseidon

Whatever.

From, Hades

OF COURSE THEY (they being sea disasters) ARE BETTER THAN AIR!

You're obviously right, Poseidon

P.S. Zeus – you got called a rock. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! **(Yes that is quoting Kelso from That 70's Show. I don't have copyright.)**

You can't tell me what to do, mortal! (I think you're a mortal… oh wait, I DON'T CARE!)

King of the gods and not able to be bossed around, Zeus

P.S. Poseidon, brother? He made fun of who you slept with. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! **(Again, no copyright.)**

I'm sorry, you can't be bossed around?

Your wife, Hera

By mortals, honey, by mortals!

I love you, my darling wife, Zeus

You can't tell me what to do! I'll treat my son how I want! And they don't _always _behave better than us!

From, Hades

Yes they do!

From, Demeter

Shut up, Wheat Freak!

-Hades

Make me, Kidnapper!

-Demeter

WHEN THE HADES ARE PEOPLE GOING TO ASK US QUESTIONS?!

DONE WAITING, Stolls

DEAR GODS JUST WAIT LONG ENOUGH SO THE GODS CAN GET THROUGH THEIR QUESTIONS!

DONE LISTENING, Ninja

**-N-**

Dear all the gods,

How do you feel when you get over looked in a discussion?

-hollywoodshow

Dear hollywoodshow,

Most of us don't really care. Here are the responses for those who do.

Aphrodite: Oh my gods! No one wants to listen to me give relationship advice sometimes! Do you know how terrible it is?

Demeter: I just want more of a chance to tell people to eat cereal. KEEP CALM AND CEREAL ON!

Hermes: People actually listen to me when I say something, even though I don't think I've said anything for a while. It's in this thing: Olympus Weekly by ilGyhs that I am so overlooked. LITERALLY, NO ONE KNOWS WHEN I'M IN THE ROOM! I got away with so much… read it to understand. **(what you talking about? I didn't just try to promote an awesome story! Where'd you get that idea?) **

Stolls: FREAKING ASK US THE QUESTIONS YOU SAID WE HAD ALREADY!

Hades: It's annoying! I mean, did you see that? My input is below a demigod's! I deserve-

-the gods (mostly.)

**-D-**

Dear all gods,

Do any of you know someone who goes on long rants about a matter that isn't really important?

-hollywoodshow

Dear hollywoodshow

What? No! *cough* Heraitdoesn'tmatterthatIhadanaffairgetoverit *cough*

From, Zeus

Zeus, this is a letter. We read what you say, so it doesn't matter if you say you cough and then say something really quickly.

Your wife, Hera

Demeter won't shut up-

ALWAYS INTERRUPTED, Hades

YOU KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER! DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO DO NOTHING?

NOT A RANT, Demeter

See what I mean?

Not interrupted this time, Hades

Eh, I think the rest of us are good.

From, the rest of us (except, of course, the Stolls. Ninja isn't adding their response.)

**-O-**

Dear all gods,

Do you believe in the big bang theory?

-hollywoodshow

Dear hollywoodshow,

No. Why would we? **(Feel free to reply to that question. I'll put it in the next chapter.)**

From, all the gods

P.S. we love the show, though.

**-M-**

Dear all gods,

What is your favorite thing to do in the world besides the obvious stuff?

-hollywoodshow

Dear hollywoodshow

If by "the obvious stuff" you mean affairs with mortals then… you know… I don't really know.

From, Zeus

Same here. Maybe affairs with my wife?

From, Poseidon

Not as fun.

From, Zeus

EXCUSE ME?

STILL YOUR WIFE! Hera

Hunt. I don't do affairs. Period.

From, Artemis

WRITE MY AMAZING HIAKUS!

I hate this contract

Let's send it to Tartarus

And kill ninjagal!

From, Apollo

Hehe, that's very funny, Apollo! How about we _don't _kill me? I like that idea. I like that idea a lot.

I obviously love you all, ninja

I'm debating. Do you eat wheat?

From, Demeter

If I say yes will you not try to kill me?

From, ninja

Yup.

From, Demeter

Then, any chance I get!

Love, ninja

Oh, okay. I think we should let her live.

Love, Demeter

*Sigh* Fine.

From, Apollo

If Apollo's cool with her, so am I.

Love, Hestia

Cool! Thanks!

Love y'all, ninja

**Okay, that's it for this chapter-**

WAIT! WHAT ABOUT OUR QUESTION?

-Stolls

**I decided to save it for next chapter.**

WHAT? NONONONONONONONONONONO! YOU CAN'T!

-Stolls

**But… I just did.**

NO! WE HAVE TO ANSWER THE QUESTION! THE PERSON WHO ASKED WILL DIE INSIDE IF WE DON'T!

-Stolls

**I think they'll be fine. Won't you Avid Reader0907?**

THEY WON'T! JUST LET US-

**K that's all keep asking questions bye!**


	10. Chapter 8

**Sooo… maaaany… I… I'M SORRY! I COULDN'T DO ALL THE QUESTIONS ASKED IN JUST THIS CHAPTER! THEY WERE EVERYWHERE! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I'll try to do them next chapter, I promise to try but I can't guarantee! Also, I'd like to point out that I am an idiot and Avid Reader0907 is a female. Okay. Announcer voice!**

Wait, ninja, you didn't write me an intro.

**Wait… I could've sworn… it's here somewhere…**

We're on air!

**This is a letter thingy!**

Oh… something tells me you're still not going to edit this out, though.

**Nope. **

Ugh. How come you are so unorganized?

**I'm trying, but I was busy trying to think of intros and such to the new godly challenge I might be doing!**

Oh, you mean _Olympus: Dare the Gods_? You were serious about that?

**-_- Yes, I was. So sorry if that disappointed you. Oh, found it!**

Hello and welcome back to _Olympus: Ask the Gods. _Questions have been coming in left and right, and ninjagal2000 would just like to thank you for your continuing support!

**Man, I write cheesy entrances.**

Yes. I read it, you write it.

**Shut up and just get to the questions.**

**-Ha, I'm never editing that out.-**

Dear Hades,

What do you think of the song Daylight by Maroon 5? (Ya know. Cause you can't see it?)

-RubyArtist334

Dear RubyArtist334,

Oh, ha ha. Let's make fun of the person banished into the underworld. Very funny. I… uh… haven't heard it. Ever.

Loner, Hades

Dad, how haven't you heard that song? It's –

Why was I interrupted, Nico

SCREW THESE OTHER QUESTIONS YOU SAID THAT PEOPLE ASKED US NOW ASK!

ASK THE QUESTION, Stolls

You. Interrupted. Nico.

FREAKING MAKE ME, ninja

Yeah, we interrupted him. So what?

Confused, Stolls

So what? SO WHAT? SOME PEOPLE DESERVE TO SPEAK IN A CONVERSATION!

YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU WERE ONLY CONFUSED, ninja

You don't stick up for me when-

Interrupted AGAIN, Hades

STAY OUT OF THIS HADES!

-ninja

Oh crap, she's only using the -. Does she usually only use the -? I'm kind of nervous.

Don't need to be mad ninja, Connor

You may want to run. She can be seriously violent and/or depressed. I mean, have you read – oh wait, she didn't post that yet. Never mind.

You still should probably run, Nico

YOU –

**-yeah, **_**that**_** I'm editing out. –**

To all the gods,

I think I might be a demigod, however I am not sure which god or goddess is my parent. I am wondering who you think my godly parent is.

-Angel

Dear Angel,

You said you like nature and water, prefer to help nature grow, like walking alongside rivers if you can manage it, you've never used a weapon, but would prefer a dagger, sword or bow.

The nature part could be Demeter, as could the whole peaceful thing.

Oh, Hades just started yelling that she isn't peaceful around him, and she's yelling back that that's only because he's a kidnapping – well, we probably shouldn't say that.

Anyway, liking water could be Poseidon, but he isn't saying that he remembers having a child other than Percy recently. Demeter says that she doesn't recall any children that haven't gotten to camp yet, so you may be a child of a minor god. They don't have to be here, and are probably not even paying attention to this entire conversation.

So, we cannot say for sure who your godly parent is. I, personally, am sorry.

Love, Hestia and the rest of the gods

**-there's a test on my profile for who your godly parent might be, if you want to take it. It may be hard to find, though… if you look at my profile you'll understand.-**

Dear Zeus,

Would you like to have the spot of president of somewhere? (Or king. If you're talking England.)

-RubyArtist334

Dear RubyArtist334,

Do you mean, in my title? No! I am _king _of the gods, not _president _of the gods. President implies that this is a democracy, and the gods have a choice if they want to do what I say or not.

If you mean do I rule somewhere as president or king? Well, not president, but I _do _happen to be the King of Olympus. And the gods. And the sky. And all the other awesome stuff. Everything but the kitchen sink!

I AM ALL POWERFUL, Zeus

I'm sorry, but in the phrase, 'everything but the kitchen sink,' wife is included. I was unaware that you were the boss of me.

-Hera

Oh, honey, it is only an expression! (See what you did? If I knew who you were….)

You're dead, Zeus

**-You wouldn't believe how many questions people asked.-**

Dear Ares,

What would you do if you were being attacked by an angry cat and were completely helpless?

-RubyArtist334

Dear RubyArtist334,

I am never defenseless. Ever. If you try to deny it, I may just kill you. Now, what's your real name, so I can curse you for actually thinking I could be defenseless against a _cat?_

Never defenseless, Ares

I bet he'd get clawed nonstop and then run back to Olympus like a wuss.

Thank gods he has no clue who I really am, ninja

I will find you. And I will kill you.

-Ares

I stopped doing movie quotes, you know.

I am in love with that movie, ninja

I'm bringing them back.

Me too, Ares

Yeah. Okay. You didn't answer the question, by the way.

From, ninja

**-Anyone know what movie that's from?-**

Dear Poseidon,

Out of all the swimming strokes, which is your favorite? I personally prefer the freestyle stroke because I'm horrible with the butterfly and the breast stroke. Think you could teach me those?

-miramisa90212

Dear miramisa90212,

I personally kind of like freestyle too, but I like butterfly better because it's harder and no one knows how to do it! Usually I just use freestyle because that's what you need to use for surfing.

I don't think I have time to stop my busy godly schedule to teach you how to swim.

Sorry, Poseidon

**-I don't think I ever told you what the quote "I'd like to make some sweet music with him!" was from.-**

Dear Athena,

Knowledge is beauty, so I think you're really beautiful and awesome. Is that okay?

-miramisa90212

P.S. I honestly think that knowledge is better than physical beauty.

Dear miramisa90212,

Uh, I don't mind that you think I'm beautiful and awesome, and I appreciate you realize that knowledge is true beauty.

You have a truly dizzying intellect, Athena

P.S. I've always wanted to use that sign-off.

EXCUSE ME? Being hot is way better than being smart!

Completely offended, Aphrodite

P.S. well, it's stupid!

Only the stupid say that.

Afraid to use big words to confuse you, Athena

P.S. You only say that because you don't get it.

Yeah, well, your mom is stupid!

HA! Aphrodite

I don't have a mom. I came out of Zeus's head, remember?

You really are stupid, Athena

Yeah, well… you're face is stupid!

HA HA HA! Aphrodite

You used the wrong "you're." It should be "your." Just thought I'd tell you that.

Case closed, Athena

**-It's from Hercules, the Disney version.-**

Dear Aphrodite,

If you had to choose between skirts or shorts, what would it be? I personally prefer jeans and a plain shirt because they're awesome like that.

-miramisa90212

Dear miramisa90212,

I don't want to talk to you, Miss I-don't-think-physical-beauty-is-as-cool-as-knowle dge! So you can go without my opinion, and miss that piece of knowledge!

Wait… you like jeans and a plain shirt? But, how? Skirts and shorts are much better! I mean, I usually like dresses over both, but since I never do exercise I just prefer skirts and – WAIT! NINJA, EDIT THAT OUT! I DIDN'T MEAN TO ANSWER THAT!

Oh, you didn't? That's a shame. I would get rid of it, but Ares didn't answer his question and I can't leave _two _unanswered but answered questions in one chapter! That'd be ridiculous!

Bwahaha, ninja

So? Make Ares answer his question then! I _demand-_

YOU INTERRUPTED ME? Aphrodite

**-Again, if these gods knew who I was I would be dead meat.-**

Dear Hephaestus,

Why is it that your wife doesn't appreciate you as much? I mean, seriously, you are one of my favorite gods without even trying! Heck, without your son sacrificing himself to let Percy get out of Princess Andromeda, Percy wouldn't be able to save Olympus! You should be appreciated more. The other Olympians should be ashamed of themselves, especially your wife and your mother! It's just sad, really.

-miramisa90212

Dear miramisa90212,

I don't know why my wife doesn't like me! I mean, I give her a lot of stuff, but she just ignores me! _Then _she has an affair with some numb-skull who lost to a demigod! I mean, what else does she want? And don't even get me _started_ on my mother! She threw me off a mountain! When I was a BABY! _Do you know how much it hurts to be thrown off a mountain when you're not even a month old? _I didn't think so! Then, she expects me to help her when her husband is being rebellious and when things that don't affect me go wrong! _And _she wants me to build her and her "perfect family" weapons! What is wrong with that woman? Do any of you know the _real _reason she ended up marrying Zeus? Oh, it's an amazing story. You see-

Crap I wanted to tell that story, Hephaestus

Uh, I don't think it's smart to say that. Like, major idiocy.

I'd rather not see you get killed, ninja

I can be an idiot if I want!

From, Hephaestus

Uh, do you want to be _that _much of an idiot? Really? Live to fight another day, buddy.

I feel like a guru, ninja

Fine. You're right.

ZEUSRAPEDHERAANDTHENSEHMARRIEDHIMTONNOTLIVEWITHTHE SHAMEAND-

You interrupted me! Hephaestus

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ZEUS IS GOING TO KILL YOU!

I HOPE HADES ACCEPTS YOU INTO ELYSIUM, ninja

You can bet your ass I am!

-Zeus

P.S. the next comment is you mother. I'm just going to guess ninja is going to edit her out. I wanted you to know.

YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER TELL YOU-

**-Yeah, I am **_**definitely **_**editing that out.-**

Dear Zeus,

What is wrong with you? I think you're a maniac and that Poseidon and Hades are better. Seriously. Heck, you're daughter's BETTER than you! **(Do you remember a couple chapters ago when I warned people about death wishes? This applies here. Just try not to break Zeus for me, okay?)**

-miramisa90212

Dear miramisa90212,

What's wrong with me? What's wrong with YOU! **(Oh, good, you didn't break him.) **I am not a maniac, I am an invincible king of the gods! Poseidon and Hades aren't as powerful as me, and as sure as TARTARUS MY DAUGHTER ISN'T! _You-_

WHO DARES INTERRUPTED THE KING, Zeus

Thalia _is _better than you! She's definitely an amazing lieutenant, and has better respect for females! I mean, you RAPED your wife! What is wrong with you?

I INTERRUPTED YOU, Artemis

Listen closely-

INTERRUPTED AGAIN?! Zeus

**This is turning into a screamfest. I'm going to go to demigod questions-**

FINALLY!

-Stolls

**- to let you guys calm down.**

**-Yes, Stolls, I'm getting to you.-**

Dear Travis and Connor,

I love your pranks! But I didn't like what you did to Phoebe. :( Nonetheless, could you teach me your awesome skills, Prank Masters? :D

-miramisa90212

Dear miramisa90212,

Here's a quick code: If the words are in Italic, then Travis is talking. If not, it's Connor.

_Come on. It was just an innocent prank!_

Well, she did break out in hives for a while…

_Yeah, but she's fine now!_

Good point. Besides, she beat us in capture-the-flag! No one does that and gets away with it.

_Just a future reference if you ever come to camp._

Now, as to teaching you, I'm sure we could –

_Are you saying we're going to give them an apprenticeship? _

Why? Do you want to give her one?

_No, I just don't want you to give up our secrets to just anyone._

So you want them to fill out an application?

_Yeah!_

Okay then… just tell us the best prank you've ever played and if we think it's good enough we'll give you the apprenticeship!

_Oooh, we should make it a competition! Everyone posts their best prank and we'll give the winner the apprenticeship!_

**Dear gods, what have I done? I may have just created a monster.**

_No, you've done one of our many fans a great favor._

**Well, aren't you modest?**

Yes. Yes we are.

**Okay well, leave the greatest prank you've done in the comments and then I guess the best prank will get the … apprenticeship. Whatever **_**that **_**entails.**

**-I may regret that in the near future-**

Dear Hera,

Marriage separations are really sad. Think you could do something about it? :(

-miramisa90212

Dear mirmisa90212,

I really wish I could. Sadly, there is nothing I can do about marriage separations. Believe me, I've tried.

It really is sad, Hera

**-That was a depressing question.-**

Dear Hestia,

You're cool, giving up your throne for Dionysus. That's really selfless of you. It shows you're the most mature out of all the Olympians.

-miramisa90212

Dear mirmisa90212,

Thank you! I appreciate knowing someone cares about my sacrifices. Believe me, Dionysus never does.

Love, Hestia

Wait, that's not always true! I appreciate it!

Feeling a little drunk, Dionysus

I'll ask the question for Zeus: How are you drunk if you can't drink alcohol?

Genuinely confused, ninja

Oh, damn this contract. I didn't mean to actually say that…

Whoops, Dionysus

Before Zeus can start screaming at you, I just want you to know that I don't think miramisa likes you.

Sorry, ninja

What makes you say that?

I am really drunk at this point, Dionysus

**-Would someone sober read the next question to Dionysus?-**

Dear Dionysus,

What is wrong with you? I guess, like father, like son -.- but seriously, ALCOHOL IS BAD FOR YOU! Try stopping, my goodness. Do you know what alcohol does, ESPECIALLY to teenagers? There are so many cases of teen pregnancy, oh man, those poor virginities. Chastity is VERY important!

-miramisa90212

Dear mirmisa90212,

I AGREE COMPLETELY!

Shut up, Dionysus, I'll type what you're saying in a second, but right now I'm talking. That's what you get for asking me to type this for you. I don't care if I was the closest to you! Ugh, just shut up!

It's Dionysus's fault completely those poor girls lost their virginities! I mean, that is just sick and twisted and, UGH!

Okay, Dionysus says that it's not his fault the girls drink the alcohol. Yeah, right.

Typing this because Dionysus is too drunk to, Artemis

**-He just had to ask the goddess of virginity, didn't he? DIDN'T HE?-**

Dear Artemis and Apollo,

I know you guys are twins and all, but the minutes count, I guess. And according to a website, Artemis is the first born child of Zeus and Leto, so Artemis is older. Sorry Apollo, but I still think your hot :) and I love your son, Lee Fletcher! :")

-miramisa90212

Dear mirmisa90212,

I know I'm hot. What did you expect from me? I'm just naturally amazing.

*cue "I'm sexy and I know it"* Apollo

I'm older Apollo. You missed that very important thing. I'm older, now you have to shut up. In your face!

In YOUR FACE! Artemis

Yeah, but you always walk around as a twelve-year-old girl, so it doesn't matter.

In _your _face, Apollo

**-Cue next question!-**

Dear Artemis,

Does turning a twelve-year-old girl immortal mean that she's stuck in puberty (maturity-wise) forever?

Probably having just insulted the current moon goddess and her followers, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

Don't worry, Artemis, I got this. Are you saying that I'm immature?

Tread _very _carefully, Thalia

**-He he he, careful there, buddy.-**

Dear Hermes,

You are one of my favorite gods, second to Hephaestus :D and I think Luke is hotter than Percy, just saying :)

-miramisa90212

Dear miramisa90212,

I'm your second favorite god? AWESOME! I just want to thank you for-

Wait, I was interrupted? Hermes

WHAT THE HADES IS WRONG WITH YOU? PERCY IS _WAAAAAAAAY _HOTTER THAN LUKE HAS EVER BEEN! I mean, neither are as great as Nico but…

OH SH** HE CAN READ THIS!

Edit out, edit out, edit out, edit out, IT'S NOT WORKING! FOR THE LOVE OF GODS EDIT OUT!

Sh**, ninja

Uh, hi ninja…

*awkward silence,* Nico

I think I'm just going to walk into my corner of shame now… and hide for about a millennium. That should be long enough.

Forever embarrassed (not to mention alone,) ninja

Moving away from that nice and awkward situation, thank you for knowing Percy is WAY better-looking than Luke!

I think she's a keeper Nico ;), Annabeth

…

…

***silence***

…

…

***cricket* *cricket* *cricket* *cricket***

Uh, ninja? Hello?

Where'd you go, Annabeth

**Error 32875: Ninjagal2000 is unavailable.**

Uh, why? What about the other questions?

You should make this chapter a long one since you haven't updated in a while, Annabeth

**Error 32878: Ninjagal2000 is unavailable because she is hiding in her corner of shame.**

She was serious about that? Come ninja, you don't have to –

Wait. What is error 32876 and -77?

Daughter of Athena, Annabeth

**Error 32876: Ninjagal2000 is unavailable because she finally got a life.**

**Error 32877: Ninjagal2000 is never going to be unavailable for that reason, because it will never happen.**

Oh. Uh, okay then. When will she come back?

Now sort of just typing what all the campers are asking, Annabeth

**Error 32875: Ninjagal2000 is unavailable.**

When is she coming back?

From, Camp

**Error 32875: Ninjagal2000 is unavailable.**

WE GET IT BUT WHEN WILL SHE ACTUALLY GET BACK ON!

From, camp

**Error 32879: Ninjagal2000 will only get back on if one person who hasn't left a review will for any chapter.**

What? That's stupid! She's just being lazy!

Mostly Annabeth, Annabeth

**Error 1: Exactly.**

What? "Exactly" isn't even an error!

Now only Annabeth, Annabeth

**Error 1: Exactly.**

UGH! DON'T DO THAT!

You are so annoying! Annabeth

**Error 32875: Ninjagal2000 is unavailable. **

SHUT UP!


	11. Chapter 9

*poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke*

**WHAT?!**

(Announcer) Where's the intro to the story?

**What story, announcer dude?**

_Ask the Gods_. What else?

… **I don't know what else. I don't have one. No one reviewed.**

Did you even CHECK?

**No… why?**

Just get on your freaking computer and check.

**Fine, but I'm telling you, no one commented - *gapes at screen* s-s-s-seventeen! SEVENTEEN NEW REVIEWS? WHAT BLACK MAGIC IS THIS?**

None - I guess people just wanted you to update. It does take you a while.

**Wow. Thanks for the pep talk. Wait, how did you find me? We only talk over a computer!**

Oh, well… um…. You see, it's really a funny story…

**Different announcer's announcer voice! (The other one was fired.)**

Dear Hades,

Hades, do you have any more children out there and if so, can you come see if I'm one? That would be so cool if I was. You are the best god ever.

-Drea dark

Dear Drea dark,

I'm sorry, pretty sure I don't have any other kids. Uh, have you checked with Thanatos? I don't know if he's had kids recently (besides Jack, of course) **(if you understood that I would love you) **but I could be mistaken.

From, Hades

**-Speaking of Thanatos…-**

Dear Thanatos,

I've read that you are a son of Nyx. Is that true, and if so, shouldn't you be a titan?

Thinking Hades might be pissed, DeathmatchDrunkard

DEATHMATCHDRUNKARD!

WHAT THE HADES IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY IN TARTARUS WOULD YOU SAY THAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO KEEP A SECRET FROM YOUR BOSS FOR A MILENIUM?! IT'S NOT EASY! AND YOU JUST CAME AND RUINED IT AND –

Είμαι καταδικασμένη, Thanatos

YOU SAY WHAT? THANATOS! IS THERE SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOUR LINEAGE AND YOUR CURRENT STATUS?

Δεν είναι καταδικασμένη, αλλά κολασμένων, Hades

Uh, guys? I just got on and stuff, so I'd rather not just start an argument –

DON'T YOU DARE INTERRUPT ME! ninja

HADES, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER! I-

WHO INTERRUPTED ME? Thanatos

OF COURSE IT MAT-

Wait, who interrupted ME? Hades

OF COURSE IT MATTERS, YOU TRAITOROUS TITAN!

Lord of the Titans, Kronos

KRONOS GET THE HELL OFF MY STORY!

MY STORY! ninja

I deserve my say in this you-

I WILL KILL WHOEVER DARES INTERRUPT ME! Kronos

Shut. Up. And. Get. Off. My. Story.

-Ninja.

You'd better run.

Understanding, Stolls

I do not need advice from you worthless hnuj uhjy7ygvhyg7u6hyhu7g6

Ow mj,kni Kronos

Wait, what was that?

Confused, Hades

What? I just beat his head against his keyboard… they have great Wi-Fi in Tartarus. I need to fix that.

Any geeks out there? Ninja

I'm not sure we stayed on topic at all…

Also confused, Thanatos

Oh, I remember, TITAN!

YOU WORK FOR ME! Hades

I must escape while I still can!

Bye! Thanatos

**-There is an official manhunt – no, sorry, godhunt….-**

Dear Hermes,

Do you ever get mad at mailmen for taking your job?

RubyArtist334

Dear RubyArtist334,

If you had a job, would _you _get mad if someone did your easier deliveries and received the money you couldn't spend anyway? It's like having a little sister/brother doing your easier jobs and getting _monopoly _money for it.

I don't get mad about it, Hermes

That was a pretty long rant considering all she asked was if you was if you got mad at mailmen. You answered it fully in your sign-off.

Just saying, Apollo

Apollo, no one asked you!

Shut up, Hermes

WHOA! I _KNOW _YOU DID NOT JUST TELL APOLLO TO SHUT UP!

I control fire. I know things, Hestia

*pales* Oh, Hestia! So so so very sorry! I didn't mean to be mean or anything so if you'd just like… uh, if it's okay with you could someone… just… er… um-

THANK GODS FOR INTERRUPTING ME! Hermes

Aw, Hestia, that is so sweet of you to come to my aid like that! But really, it's okay! I was just giving him a hard time because I just read Olympus Weekly.

Bwah-ha-ha, Apollo

You… you didn't! You couldn't! You _wouldn't! _I thought you were my friend, Apollo!

How could you? Hermes

That's what you get for thinking, Hermes.

*maniacal smile* Apollo

**-Dear gods… this will **_**not **_**end well…-**

Do you guys think that the couple name for you (Percabeth) is cute, stupid, or do you not care?

Yours in all that demigod stuff, PERCABETHFOREVER (From Flyinturtles007)

Dear Flyingturtles007,

I SWEAR TO THE GODS IF ONE OTHER CAMPER CALLS US PERCABETH I WILL –

Don't interrupt me! Annabeth

Oh, it's not that bad! I think it's kind of cute that people gave us a fan name!

Percabeth…, Percy

Oh, just for the sake of argument, Percy, what about your _other _fan name?

Hm? Stolls

What _other _fan name?

My dagger is sharp, Annabeth

Oh, Annabeth, you didn't know? Well, do you remember when juh ynyhug7jhyun j

Ujhy7, Stolls

What? Percy, what did you do?

What? Annabeth

Oh, I just repetitively banged some heads on a keyboard. Is that a problem?

I'm innocent, Percy

YES! IT IS! WHAT IS THIS OTHER FAN NAME?

TELL ME! Annabeth

*cough* Perlypso! *cough*

*giggles* Aphrodite

Who are the two people in this fan name, may I ask?

I'm completely composed **(not!)**,Annabeth

Oh, it's Percy and Calypso! Oh, they're just the cutest couple! I mean-

Why was I interrupted? Aphrodite

Run! Everyone run, she's going nuclear! Take cover! Now, Annabeth I'm gonna need you to calm down for me, okay? Okay? Okay.

Okay, ninja

CALM DOWN? PEOPLE THINK THAT FREAKING "PERLYSPO" IS BETTER THAN AN ACTUAL ONGOING RELATIONSHIP? THAT IS NOT OKAY BY MY STANDARDS, NINJA!

NOT OKAY! Annabeth

Annabeth, be rational here. *looks off to side* PERCY! *looks back at screen* *like trained couples counselor.* We should be calm and composed while working on relationship issues. These things happen. Can you say that with me? These things happen. Try saying that.

These things happen, ninja

THESE THINGS HAPPEN. THESE THINGS HAPPEN. THESE THINGS happen. THESE things happen. These things happen. These things _happen. _These things… DON'T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS OF A STORY!

THESE THINGS DON'T HAPPEN! Annabeth

Annabeth, try playing with a yoyo. It's impossible to stay mad at someone when you're playing with a yoyo. *gives Hermes a yoyo to give to Annabeth.*

How's that? Ninja

…Better. Thanks… I guess. *Percy walks in room* PERCY I SWEAR ON THE RIVER STYX-

I SWEAR! Annabeth

OKAY SHUT UP I HATE BEING A COUPLES COUNCELOR NOW SHUT UP AND MAKE UP JUST DON'T MAKE OUT BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE DISGUSTING BUT YOU STILL NEED TO MAKE UP NOW SHUT UP AND DO SO!

UGH! Ninja

…okay.

-Percabeth

**-I was going to say something here but I forget…-**

**(Announcer Voice) **Here are the Stoll brothers with a quick update on their apprenticeship.

Thanks, new announcer dude! So far in the lead is… blitzhanan with his two amazing pranks!

They really are amazing, Connor

Yes! I would like to inform you all that the apprenticeship challenge will continue until the first _Dare the Gods _is posted. Thank you to all participants thus far!

I feel so formal, Travis

**-I remember! Bella, I think you mean HUNKules!-**

*whistles* _Ah, what a beautiful day to walk by the beach with my computer, just finishing up_ _chapter nine for my loving audience who actually commented! Ah, still can't get over that. Now, let's see here, where was I…_

"OH MY GODS! PERCY! ANNABETH! I SAID _NOT_ TO MAKE OUT!"

"Sorry, ninja!"

**Sorry this one didn't have a lot of questions! I'll try to make the next one longer, I just really wanted to update because the old announcer dude was right – it takes me FOREVER! Sorry, and thanks for being the best -audience? Ah, whatever- ever! Also, as soon as I get done with answering all question that have been sent in, I'm going to start taking dares for the next in Olympus: Godly Challenges!**

**-ninja**


	12. Chapter 10

**I can't really think of anything I want to say now, except… if you don't ask questions then I'll be able to finish all sent questions sooner, that way I can start accepting dares for **_**Dare the Gods, **_**coming out soon. Also, I'm trying to do as many questions as possible in this chapter, so it'll be pretty long I think. Announcer voice!**

I think you just destroyed the need for an introduction, because you covered everything.

**Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to steal your job.**

It's alright. I'm just going to make myself some coffee.

**-I despise coffee-**

Dear Artemis,

I don't want to get a boyfriend or get married because boys are useless. Could I join your Hunters? :)

-miramisa90212

Dear miramisa90212,

I am always looking for new Hunters! We are currently on a hunt now, though, so we won't be able to accept anyone new just yet.

I will contact you, Artemis

Wait, whom are we hunting?

I was unaware, Thalia

Oh, yeah. It's Thanatos. Apparently, Hades is a little upset…

Yeah, Artemis

You don't say?

That was obvious, ninja

Quit butting in on our conversations!

Gods! Thalia

How about I discontinue this thing?

How do you like them apples, ninja

How about I bring up a certain cousin of mine and–

**-Sorry guys, Thalia is currently unavailable. 3:)-**

Dear Zeus,

Can you replace Dionysus on the council with the God/dess of Beer? Wine doesn't even come close to the importance of beer nowadays.

Mourning the fact that I've got no beer right now, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

NO, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO REPLACE ME! NO WAY!

JUST NO! Dionysus

He does have a point, Dionysus. However, Dionysus is technically the god of beer, too, and we're not replacing him with Silenus! NEVER!

NEVER! Zeus

**-If these are short it's because I'm fitting in a lot of questions-**

Dear Apollo,

How do you cope with the fact that the sister you love and care for will always look down on you with distaste? That, no matter what you do, she will never return the love and care to the same extent?

Playing psycho-doc, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

You're kidding. You just HAD to do that, didn't you? I have _no_ idea how Apollo feels about that because he read it and then ran into his palace crying.** (Sarcasm. What a beautiful, beautiful thing.) ** We already went through this stage and it lasted a decade! It was the worst decade of my life, mind you! Not to mention you want to replace me! Wine is still important!

STILL IMPORTANT, Dionysus

**-Artemis just had some choice language for you.-**

Dear Athena,

Can you control your ability of producing brain children? And if you do, do you give the man in question a hint?

Already building my bunker to hide in for the follow-up question, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

Before Athena can even answer, why? Just why? Do you like to piss off gods or something? You've pissed off the majority of the council, I think. Most of them with the Thanatos and Apollo incident… so just really? Athena was almost on your side, too. Guess how many supporters you have? ONE! THAT'S RIGHT, ONE! AND IT'S ME BECAUSE THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!

UGH! Ninja

DO WOMEN HAVE A CHOICE OVER THEIR PREGNANCY? It usually just happens, smart one! Now, good gods, shut up before we all try to kill you!

Gods! Athena

Told you.

I did, ninja

**-All the first questions will be from him. Just so you have an idea how many questions this guy alone sent in.-**

Dear Artemis,

Since you and your hunters take great delight in harming males, why don't you go watch a show of ultraviolent wrestling? Men hurting, bleeding, suffering, and the best part - you don't have to lift a finger! They do it all by themselves, just sit back and enjoy the show.

Hoping to attract extra audience to a CZW event, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

This is me, _this is the hunters, _and this is Thalia.

You _OH! _That know,_ MY!_ would I've_ GODS!_ be never _CAN _so thought _WE?_ fun! of _PLEASE?_ Can that! _PLEASE?!_ We? _PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?! _

Sh! Yes, we can!

_YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAY! _

From, Artemis and the Hunters

WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE?

WHAT? Ninja

P.S. Artemis, does this mean you're no longer mad at him?

… I suppose it does. Only because he's nice to my hunters!

Only for them! Artemis

**-There are so many questions from this guy alone. Not that I don't love stock-pilling them. (Just don't tell him I said that)-**

Dear ninjagal2000,

Wasn't it the rule that questions only be PMed, not reviewed?

Feeling confused, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

SHUT UP I WAS ON YOUR SIDE A COUPLE QUESTIONS AGO!

ALONE! Ninja

**-ALONE!-**

Dear Thanatos,

Oh, there're several things wrong with me... Given a few of my other questions, let's go with 'I'm a tad suicidal and express it by pissing of gods, titans or whoever is currently available.' How does that sound?

Thinking 'oops', DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

I don't have time to explain much, so I'm just going to tell you one thing:

Θα ήθελα να μάθω τι είναι λάθος με σας δεδομένου ότι κατέστρεψε μόνο τις πιθανότητές μου για επιβίωση που είχα επιδέξια δημιουργήσει για τον εαυτό μου κατά τη διάρκεια της χιλιετίας, που κρύβει την καταγωγή μου! τώρα εγώ θα το ήθελα, αν μου άφησε μόνο και μόνο!

GODS! Thanatos

P.S. Thanks, ninja, for letting me borrow your computer.

Aaaaaaaaaaanytime. In other words, never do it again. It's why the original announcer dude was fired. He CAME TO MY HOUSE! Well, at least you had the decency to give me some warning and didn't just show up…

Never again, ninja

**-That didn't address your question at all. Oh, and ALONE!-**

Dear Annabeth,

That's the point. If the Perlypso fans (like me) had their way, Percabeth wouldn't have happened at all. And Aphrodite, you're right with that one.

How's Calypso doing, anyway? Do you by chance know that, love goddess?

Lifting his little fanboy heart high in the air, DeathmatchDrunkard

PS: Oh, and Annabeth, that happens to side characters, too. Harry Potter x Ginny Weasley, any who?

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

I KNOW WHY YOU ARE HATED NOW YOU-

WHO THE CRAP INTERRUPTED ME? Annabeth

*facepalm.* You can't be a Perlypso fan, idiot! You have to be a fan of Percabeth, Thalico, Frazel, Jasper, then make a new one altogether: LeoxCalypso. IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT I'D DIE! Well, I wouldn't die, but-

Wait, why was I interrupted? Ninja

What do you mean, Thalico?

Thalico…? Thalia

SH** SH** SH** SH** SH** SH** SH**! Nothing, eternal maiden, nothing at all!

Nothing! Ninja

Because it sounds a bit like Thalia and Nico. But I'm sure you don't mean that, now do you?

DO YOU? Thalia

NO NO NO NO NO NOT AT ALL, LOVING THALIA! *looks up at sky* *squeaks* help me!

Please! Ninja

Watch your back.

Watch it. Thalia

**-Gulp! Oh, and ALONE!-**

Dear Kronos,

how are you going to kill somebody while being chopped into tiny pieces and not having a host?

Laughing evilly for getting Kronos back on the story, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

I got rid of the Wi-Fi in Greek Hell. They didn't deserve it. Anything else?

Saying that sweetly but demonically, ninja

**-ALONE!-**

To whom it may concern,

Who of you deities is responsible for the extermination of the Native Americans and the colonization of Africa?

Watching 'Blood Diamond', DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

None of us! It was some of our kids, yeah, but… yeah, I don't really care.

I don't, Zeus

Now Zeus, this was practically an entire race here! Of course SOME of us care!

Apparently a dwindling few, Hestia

This is sadly serious! I don't like it! Subject change!

I'm really not trying to be racist or avoid racist topics I just created this for laughs, ninja

**-STILL ALONE!-**

Dear Gaea,

Since your children, the Giants, are currently trying to usurp the gods, I've got a question: Mortal lore speaks of 24 giants, not twelve (well, it also speaks of 18 Olympians sometimes), so is that untrue or did you just forget to wake a few of them? Or are they... dead for good? Gone? Faded? How does one say that?

Wondering if I just altered the whole Second Giant War, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

I will kill you first. That is all.

-Gaea

Wait, why the crap is Gaea, who is in charge of a war, bothering with this shi – crap…?

Why? Ninja

That is classified.

-Gaea

Whatever.

-ninja

Wait, you don't want to ask me?

-Gaea

No. Not really.

-ninja

But… but I could spare your planet!

-Gaea

So?

-ninja

You… you don't care?

-Gaea

No. I'll just manifest another.

-ninja

Wait, what?

-Gaea

Oh, I forgot, you're not advanced enough to understand that… sorry. Never mind, evil goddess. Goodbye!

-ninja

Wait! I wanna know!

-Gaea

I. Win.

-ninja

Oh, oh, I see what you did! Real mature, there!

-Gaea

Says the person trying to destroy my host world.

-ninja

STOP SAYING THAT!

-Gaea

No.

*thinking yet someone still appearing in this story* _I've revealed too much of our plan as is. Note to self: commence Phase Two on all demigods…_

-ninja

**-Still alone!-**

Dear Hades,

Why are all your kids so very old? They come from the 30s and 40s for gods' sake.

-LittleWinter1011

Dear LittleWinter1011,

I'm sorry my kids are old! I just-

I'm getting used to being interrupted, Hades

NICO IS NOT OLD! Well, he is, but WHATEVER! HE'S YOUNGER THAN HIS HALF-SISTER! SO, YEAH!

Not old! Thalia

*cough* Thalico *cough*

*cough* ninja

Okay, just because I'm defending him doesn't mean-

-_- Thalia

Yes. Yes it does.

-ninja

Um, I really don't know if I'm going to start dating my cousin because A) she's my _cousin _B) I think Zeus will kill me.

He probably would, Nico

Well, here's a quick counter-example. A) no genes in gods B) If Zeus were to do that, then he'll have less of a chance to win the giant war. And we wouldn't want that, would we? I mean, I'd just find a new host planet, but I'd still feel a little bad about this one. It seems nicer.

Not a big deal, ninja

P.S. THALICO FOREVER!

P.P.S. (a note for DeathmatchDrunkard) _I'm _lifting _my _fangirl heart in the air!

**-Thalico! Oh, and ALONE!-**

Dear Hera,

Have you ever consider about forgiving Annabeth and Thalia?

-LittleWinter1011

Dear LittleWinter1011,

I don't exactly remember what they did, but no.

No. Hera

Well then, aren't you a ray of sunshine on a Zeus-y day!

See what I did there? Ninja

That was stupid. Goodbye.

-Hera

Awwww, is it somebody's time of the month?

I will play this game, ninja

SHUT UP!

-Hera

Make me! *thunder booms world-wide* OKAY I'LL SHUT UP!

So sorry my queen, ninja

**-Wait, why am I screaming "ALONE" again?-**

Dear Hermes,

Did you start any memes here in the mortal world?

-LittleWinter1011

Dear LittleWinter1011,

Am I the god of messengers?

I am, Hermes

Did you hear something, guys?

-Apollo

Apollo, let's not get into this. Just don't. And LittleWinter? That means yes, he started quite a few. Don't know which, just that he did.

Don't Apollo, ninja

Aw, why not! It'll be so much fun!

Pleeeease? Apollo

I didn't want to play this card Apollo, but… your sister hates you and always will.

-ninja

HWHAOTISYWOPROBLECMTHATOULWASSODYOUSTUPIDDOSOMETWH YHINGSOSTUPID!

-All the gods screaming at once!

Sorry… sort of.

-ninja

P.S. Apollo had been referencing that one story I talked about earlier… Olympus Weekly.

**-Oh, NOW I remember! ALONE!-**

Dear Stoll Brothers,

What is the best prank you ever played? Who do you like to play the most pranks on? (Just so you know you guys are some of my favorite demigods/immortals.) And when is Travis going to make a move on Katie? Tratie is awesome! You two need to team up with Apollo and Hermes and maybe Leo. The two best immortal jokers/prank era plus the two demigod ones and then the perfect Latino joker elf would make Olympus and Camp Half-Blood interesting.

-Avid Reader0907

Dear AvidReader0907,

Both, _Travis, _Connor

We can't say the best prank ever, as I believe we've said before. But we love playing pranks on Mr. D and Chiron! (_I say that we're some of my favorite demigods/immortals, too.)_ _Uh, I really don't know why everyone thinks that I love Katie! _*chuckles deviously* _*continues to lie through his teeth* So, yeah, there is nothing between me and Katie! _Of course there isn't. _There isn't. _That's what I said. _I know. _Then why'd you say anything? _Just because. _Because even thinking about Katie ties your tongue in knots?

_I will kill you, _the Stolls

*smiles maniacly*

-Aphrodite

You misspelled "manically", Aphrodite.

m-a-n-i-c-a-l-l-y, ninja

*smiles manically*

-Aphrodite

What'd you do?

If you did what I think you did, I'm debating whether I should hate you or hug you, ninja

I may or may not have told a certain someone to read –

I WILL CURSE YOU WITH BAD HAIR DAYS FOR INTERRUPTING ME, Aphrodite

YOU DID _NOT _TELL KATIE TO READ THIS!

Please don't, Travis

Uh, she did. It was… interesting.

Yeah.

-Katie

**-Oh, drama. Let's just skip that. P.S. ALONE!-**

Dear Hermes,

Who is you favorite child?

-Ruby

Dear Ruby,

It's very rude of you to put me on the spot like that! I don't like choosing favorites, especially when the one who's my favorite was evil and twisted but still good on the inside and-

That wasn't supposed to slip out, Hermes

Dad? You liked Luke better than us?

WHY? *sobbing,* Stolls

**-Great, more drama. I'm skipping that, too. Poor Stolls.-**

Dear Poseidon,

What would you do if Harry Potter was you son?

Ruby

Dear Ruby,

If Harry Potter was my son… if Harry Potter was my son… if _Harry Potter _was my son… I'd find Voldemort in the Fields of Punishment and throw him into Tartarus for hurting my son and his mother and then I'd… I don't know. Boast about having a British son who's a wizard and start bragging in Hecate's face? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Yeah, that'd be nice, Poseidon

Then I'd just say that muggle-born wizards and witches came to be because I blessed them to do so, so the only reason your child was magical was because I made his mother so, and I could easily take away his magical abilities.

Ha, Hecate

Nobody asked you…

No one… Poseidon

**AAAAAAAAnd that's a wrap. I will be starting **_**Dare the Gods **_**so all further questions will be postponed until I can publish the first chapter of **_**Dare the Gods. **_**Ten chapters, people! That doesn't seem too bad, if I do say so myself. :) **

**-ninja**


	13. Chapter 11(sorry it took so long)

**Okay, so I will take longer to update because I have school soon. Anyway, I'm accepting dares but I really do need to be stricter about PMed dares/questions only. *cries***

It's okay, ninja, don't cry!

**Oh! New announcer dude! I forgot – because I'm so happy about all of this stuff (questions, comments, etc.) I'm replacing you with none other than… MORGAN FREEMAN! Sorry, dude, but you're fired.**

WHAT? You can't fire me! I've worked at this company for years and –

_AnnouncerDude210 has been disconnected._

**Take it away, Morgan!**

Welcome back to _Olympus: Ask the Gods, _the game show where _you _ask the questions and the Greek gods answer away!

**Oh man, it's exciting to hear Morgan Freeman on my little computer-thingy. Wait… no one really hears it because it's through a computer and they're just reading it… NOOOO! *Sobs dramatically***

**Recap:** _we're not replacing him with Silenus! NEVER!_

_NEVER! Zeus_

Dear Silenus,

Why does Zeus have a problem with you?

Still having no beer, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

I really don't *hiccup* know what he *hiccup* has against me! *hiccup* He *hiccup* hates on me *hiccup* all the time, *hiccup* but you *hiccup* know what they *hiccup* say, *hiccup* haters gonna *hiccup* haters gonna… *hiccup* haters… *passes out on keyboard* hyjugnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Beer I have, Silenus

Does _that _answer your question?

It better, Zeus

**-FREAKING ALONE… STILL!-**

**Recap: **_You just HAD to do that, didn't you? I have no idea how Apollo feels about that because he read it and then ran into his palace crying. __**(Sarcasm. What a beautiful, beautiful thing.)**__ We already went through this stage and it lasted a decade! It was the worst decade of my life, mind you! Not to mention you want to replace me! Wine is still important!_

_STILL IMPORTANT, Dionysus_

Dear Dionysus,

Why, yes, I did. What happened, all prophecies predicting your doom?

Wondering if I got the sarcasm, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

If you ever say that a prophecy predicted my downfall, you are going to go insane.

Got it? Dionysus

Whoa… you made him mad enough to use large words. You really need to watch your back.

Just a warning, ninja

**-Wait, why do I care if you get hurt?-**

**Recap: **_Can you control your ability of producing brain children? And if you do, do you give the man in question a hint?_

_Already building my bunker to hide in for the follow-up question, DeathmatchDrunkard_

… **and Athena was extremely upset, saying "NO!"**

Dear Athena,

Brain children aren't a part of the mortal Biology curriculum, so how was I supposed to know?

Stocking my bunker with supplies that should last for at least two decades, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

You don't need to know, but you sure as Hades didn't need to ask! I can't believe I'm about to say this, but ninja is right! You are officially ALONE!

ALONE! Athena

Oh. My. Gods. What just happened?

I'm confused and amazed, ninja

**-ALONE! ... I guess-**

**Recap: Artemis and her hunters now go to CZW matches, and I asked what he had done.**

Dear Artemis,

Could you somehow let it leak out that the U.S. did, in fact, stage the landing on the moon?

Oh, and Obama called. He wants his line back.

Thinking of the possible fallout, DeathmatchDrunkard

PS ninja: What I wanted to.

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

You dared to think _I _was taking the line from that _male, _not the other way around, so you are now ALONE!

COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY! Artemis

PS from ninja: Well, it was not smart!

PPS from Artemis to ninja: I liked it.

PPPS from ninja to Artemis: dear gods…

**-A-**

**Recap: SHUT UP I WAS ON YOUR SIDE A COUPLE QUESTIONS AGO!**

**ALONE! Ninja **

Dear ninja,

You were? Didn't you want to, and I quote, "kill you in your sleep slowly and painfully"?

Raising an eyebrow, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

You see, I had forgiven you out of the kindness of my heart, but now… well, I want to drown you, revive you, and then skin you alive.

Again, said sweetly but demonically, ninja

PS: I may or may not be in anger management classes at the moment.

**-L-**

**Recap: **_*facepalm.* You can't be a Perlypso fan, idiot! You have to be a fan of Percabeth, Thalico, Frazel, Jasper, then make a new one altogether: LeoxCalypso. IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT I'D DIE! Well, I wouldn't die, but-_

_Wait, why was I interrupted? Ninja_

Dear ninja (again),

No can do, Leo already has his hands full. Somebody (not me for change) actually went and invented Leo x Artemis.

Making a new one... hm... Ninja - Nico x ninja.

Clapping his hands and bouncing up and down laughing, DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

Nico and I have come to the most agreeable terms that we, in a joint effort, shall use Percy to drown you, revive you, use Jason to electrocute you, Nico will (attempt) to bring you back, Leo will burn you to a crisp, Nico will again (attempt) to bring you back, I will flay you alive, I will make a deal with Hades to bring you back one last time, and make you close the Doors of Death and lock you in Tartarus till all the monsters of the Greek and Roman world tear you to shreds slowly and painfully.

… We're still working on getting Percy, Jason, and Leo to agree to those terms, but it will all be accomplished in due time.

With demonic love, ninja

Um… I will never agree to that… but _aaaaaanyway… _I don't like Artemis, I only like her cute hunters that are sworn off men!

Is that so wrong, Leo

1) My friend Anonymous is a hunter of Artemis (at least she tested that on a "who's kid are you test") and she doesn't want to be hit on by you. 2) This is VERY wrong! 3) You _will _agree to the terms and conditions or _you _can close the Doors of Death and stay in Tartarus alone till you die!

Sweetly but demonically, ninja

**-O-**

**Recap:** _I will kill you first. That is all._

_-Gaea _

-and-

_Wait, why the crap is Gaea, who is in charge of a war, bothering with this shi – crap…?_

_Why? Ninja_

Dear Gaea,

Have fun, but you still didn't answer my question.

Out of curiosity, what's second?

Sighing because of yet another question not answered, DeathmatchDrunkard

PS to ninja: Well, Zeus is, too, so...

Dear Deathmatch-freaking-Drunkard,

I did not sign some stupid contract that says I even have to _answer _these questions.

If you mean who will die second, then that's easy! Zeus. Then all the other gods and goddesses.

Get over an unanswered question, Gaea

PS from ninja: uh, I forget what we were talking about. Hehe… whoops. Oh right, that's why I added little recaps. Eh, I'm too lazy to read it. Whatever.

**-N-**

**Recap: **_Um, I really don't know if I'm going to start dating my cousin because A) she's my cousin B) I think Zeus will kill me._

_He probably would, Nico_

-and-

**I said something about lifting my fangirl heart into the air, I think.**

Dear Nico,

Oh, come on! You know what they say, incest is best!

Remembering fondly a few choice HP stories, DeathmatchDrunkard

PS ninja: Yay! Let's lift together!

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

DUDE! I'M NOT GOING TO DATE MY COUSIN, SO STOP FREAKING TELLING ME TO! And last I checked, incest is _not _the best – it, in fact, is the _worst!_

What stories? *horrified look,* Nico

I would do a PS thing, but I just want to point out that the definition of incest is:

_n_

Sexual intercourse between two persons commonly regarded as too closely related to marry

[C13: from Latin incestus incest (from adj: impure, defiled), from in- 1 + castus chaste ]

And I'm pretty sure that Nico isn't having sex with a Hunter of Artemis, so…

STILL, GO THALICO! Ninja

PS to Deathmatch: LIFTING!

No, ninja! Not you too! Don't fall under his spell! Please, ninja, PLEEEEEASE! DON'T DO THIS TO ME! What happened to you and me?

I'm so desperate right now, Nico

First of all, I'm nobody's "I'm desperate" girl. I ain't gonna go bowing at yo feet just becuz yo ass ain't with someone. So you can go stick that where the sun don't shine. Second of all, I'm over yo sorry ass, and I've got myselfs a boy-friend, so I don't need you! Third of all, GO THALICO!

Fourth of all, ninja

PS to audience: I just realized all my answers are really short! I'm sorry!

**-E!-**

**Not a really quick recap: **_Dear Poseidon,_

_What would you do if Harry Potter was you son?_

_Ruby_

_Dear Ruby,_

_If Harry Potter was my son… if Harry Potter was my son… if Harry Potter was my son… I'd find Voldemort in the Fields of Punishment and throw him into Tartarus for hurting my son and his mother and then I'd… I don't know. Boast about having a British son who's a wizard and start bragging in Hecate's face? Yeah, that sounds about right._

_Yeah, that'd be nice, Poseidon_

_Then I'd just say that muggle-born wizards and witches came to be because I blessed them to do so, so the only reason your child was magical was because I made his mother so, and I could easily take away his magical abilities._

_Ha, Hecate_

_Nobody asked you…_

_No one… Poseidon_

Dear Hecate,

And what about his father?

Oh, and you could boast in Poseidon's face that his son never even came close to discovering his water abilities.

Hurrying to take a last shower before Poseidon wants to kill me (even more), DeathmatchDrunkard

Dear DeathmatchDrunkard,

I didn't actually give birth to her, just that I had blessed her!

Ha, I would. Poseidon! Your stupid son was nearly drowned by some skeletons! And he's your _son! _So HA!

HA! Hecate

Uh, you do realize that the fictional character _isn't _my son, right…?

Right? Poseidon

HOLY CRAP YOU'RE NOT PERCY'S DAD!

SCADELOUS! Ninja

DID YOU JUST CALL MY SON –

WHO DARES INTERRUPT THE GOD OF THE SEA? Poseidon

DID YOU JUST CALL ME –

WHO DARES INTERRUPT THE KID OF THE GOD OF THE SEA? Percy

DID YOU JUST CALL MY BOYFRIEND FICTIONAL?

HE FEELS PRETTY REAL WHEN I'M KISSING HIM, Annabeth

Oh, good. She's much scarier.

Thanks Wise Girl, Percy

P.S. you feel pretty real when I'm kissing you, too.

OH MY GODS I'LL APOLOGIZE JUST PLEASE NO PDA THERE'S GOING TO BE ENOUGH OF THAT DURING THE **(this part has been censored so I don't reveal the end of the first chapter of Dare the Gods) **IN DARE THE GODS! PLEASE JUST SHUT UP!

HAVE MERCY! Ninja

Apologize.

Both Percy and Annabeth

Poseidon, I'm sorry I called your son fictional. Percy, I'm sorry I called you fictional. Annabeth, I am so so so so so _very _sorry I called your boyfriend fictional now will you please stop it with the PDA?

Ugh! Ninja

Fine…. PDA is _Public _Display of Affection, right?

If you know what I mean, Percy

PS: Stop it, I'm blushing! –Annabeth

*gets sick* Oh, man, I don't feel too good. I think I'm allergic to IDIOTS BEING CHEESY!

*gets sick* ninja

**-MAJOR TIME SKIP!-**

… Does anyone know where ninja went? I thought there were more questions.

-Annabeth

You scared her off with your cheesiness.

-Leo

Wait, when's she gonna come back?

-Annabeth

I don't know, ask her.

-Leo

NIIIIIIINJAAAAAAA! GET BACK ON!

-Annabeth

**Error 32875: Ninjagal2000 is unavailable.**

I swear to the gods, if you do some stupid publicity stunt that some new person has to comment, I'm going to find you and kill you.

-Annabeth

**Error 2: Love that movie.**

THAT'S NOT AN ERROR, AND NEITHER IS EXACTLY!

-Annabeth

**Error 1: Exactly**

I will kill you slowly and painfully.

-Annabeth

**Error 549: I'll just find a new host/ host planet.**

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

-Now Annabeth and Gaea

**Error 550: What it sounds like.**

I DON'T GET IT!

Still the two of them, Annabeth and Gaea

**Error 1: Exactly.**

GO TO TARTARUS!

-Annabeth

**Error 18407: See you there.**

OH – YOU – A;LOIJFEAW;EIUFJ;OLijefoawe4joawufeio;ijawo;eijfwa oueijlji

SCREW YOURSELF!

**Error 18408: Screw yourself.**

… I thought I was supposed to be in charge of that!

I wanted to be in charge of that, Percy

**Error PLEASE: OH MY GODS SHUT UP THAT'S DISTURBING DEAR GODS HAVE MERCY ON MY POOR HOST-TRANSFERRING SOUL!**

*Smiles evilly*

-Percy and Annabeth

**Error whatever the crap number I was on: I'm busy getting sick because of the two sickos.**

Oh… sorry.

-Percy

We are?

Why? Annabeth

Yes, we are.

Because, we are, Percy

Fine. Sorry.

-Annabeth

You're forgiven. Just… no PDA! Ugh!

-ninja

No promises…

-Percabeth

That's it – I'm a fan of Perlypso!

And LeoxAnnabeth, ninja

YOU SON OF A –

**Aaaaaand cut! **


	14. IT'S HERE!

**I have now posted the first Dare the Gods! Just click my name at the top of the page and scroll down (my profile is super long, sorry) to my stories and click it!**


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